Thursday, May 3, 2007

Mom Salary Wizard

A Mother's Song - Bronze sculpture(with black granite base - not shown) by Eve Toni Seamone at the Invest In The Arts website

You know, I think growing up with a stay at home mom was such a positive influence for me. Now don't get me wrong, as it stands, I've spent my adult life either in school or working. I have nothing against career women without children or women who choose to be moms and have a career.

However, I remember one conversation I had with someone where I sensed he was talking disparagingly about stay at home moms. His mom was a career mom. However, as I said, mine chose to make her career me and my dad. I guess maybe because it's pretty clear that unless things drastically change in my life, I won't be imitating my mom's life in that respect.

Maybe from that perspective, he thought he was safe in talking down about stay at home moms. That was a bad move. I was offended. I pointed out that the value of a stay at home mom's work is huge.

In What is Your Mom Worth? has quantified it. They also quantified the value of a working mom's contribution.

Here it is:
Are you wondering what mom should be paid for her work as mom? has valuated the "mom job" of both the Working and Stay-at-Home Moms! Based on a survey of more than 40,000 mothers, determined that the time mothers spend performing 10 typical job functions would equate to an annual salary of $138,095 for a stay-at-home mom. Working moms ‘at-home’ salary is $85,939 in 2007; this is in addition to the salary they earn in the workplace.
I just think it's a nice thing to do for all moms.

So while it's over a week early, Happy Mother's Day to all you hard working moms. You are appreciated.

BTW, dad's don't feel hurt. They have a salary calculator for you too: What is Dad's Work Worth?

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  1. If the women's movement was not ultimately about choice, then it's failed entirely.

    I hate to see divisions between women, yet there are mainstream journalists like Leslie Bennett
    who has written a book that takes Betty Freidan a step further. She pretty much lets women know that if they aren't in the office, they're failing their children miserably. Of course, she's talking mainly to upper class white women like herself, who went to top tier schools. God forbid, THEY should ever stay home.

    But what about the Mom who just decides that it's where she wants to be? Doesn't she have that right to NOT have to explain her motivations to people like Bennetts? Or how about the woman with the special needs child? I know plenty of them who have given up their jobs or have taken part time jobs because their child requires a lot of additional care.

    I don't think these same perceptions take place in other countries --do they? Or maybe it's just on the east coast among all the ivy league women where these issues are screeched about.
    Seems to me, your Mom did a GREAT job and I am glad that you talk about her.

  2. Thanks for the comment! I rarely call people names, but if that's seriously what Bennett is arguing then she's got to realize she's pitching an argument that's just wrong.

    Actually, the person I went toe to toe on this was a Canadian and we were going at it over Korean housewives. He thinks they're useless. I think they do valuable work. So, at least, that was a cross border dispute because we were looking at Korea from our respective points of view ;-)

    Yeah, well, it's pretty clear I think my mom rocked. Of course, I'm going to talk about her.

  3. I picked it up to look at it in the bookstore. I thought the title was provocative, "The Feminine Mistake." She's a good writer, but as I was glancing at it, I felt like she was shouting at people like my Mom and yours.

    Then I was reading The New Yorker and found out she's out to make yet another case against women staying at home or working part time. In a way, her argument makes perfect sense: economics. And I agree with her pragmatic pov, however, why take it out on other women? Why not question our politics, our economics, which has wrought this situation. I can't see any solutions that either the ivy league women or east coast Bennetts are giving us.

    Regarding that Canadian guy: I think he should consider saying his thoughts aloud, then looking at the impact he himself would have on an individual Korean woman.

    That guy sounds pompous. Not someone I'd spend a lot of time knowing.

  4. "Not someone I'd spend a lot of time knowing." Ha! comment...

    He's in good company. The pompous and smug run wild in Korea.

    Of course, when I deal with them, they're usually not so pompous or smug after I'm done with them.

    Of course, I realize that my glee in taking them down a few notches also makes me pompous and smug too.

  5. My mother stayed at home for my first ten years, then went back to work. I do remember missing her when she was no longer at home, but feeling proud to put something other than 'housewife' in the blank for 'Mother's Occupation.'

    It is silly that we have a low opinion of housewives, but even now I catch myself over-explaining when people ask me what I do in an effort to avoid telling them that I am now a housewife. I worked when my kids were small and as they loved the childcare center where I left them (and managed to learn fluent Japanese there), it was never a problem. But I would not have dreamt of lording it over the stay-at-home moms in the neighborhood, and fortunately, none of them made me feel guilty for going out to work. Being a mother is a tough job whether you stay at home with your kids or decide to go out and work. Every situation is different, and all kids respond differently to childcare, too.

    As for Korean mothers, on my visits to Korea, I was always amazed by how strong and tough the women were. People didn't have washing machines in their homes when I was there, and I can still remember seeing women out doing the family laundry in big tubs. Any man who wants to put them down ought to go out and wash his briefs on the stones for a year or two, then come back and diss Korean women.

  6. Hi Mary,

    In his defense I know he was targeting the new breed of Korean housewife. The very well off Han River miracle Korean housewife (look at me, I'm a wuss at times.)

    My point was new money rich or not, they still serve an important function. That's even if they're not regulated to washing clothes on stones.

  7. Well, I don't wash my family's laundry on stones either. But life is complicated enough that even getting them into the machine and pegged out on the line a couple of times a week is more than enough to keep me busy, what with all the other things I end up doing.

    I knew a Korean woman who went with her husband to live in Florida when he was stationed in Pensacola. When their first baby was born, he bought her a washing machine, figuring she'd be thrilled. She told him to take it right back to the store and continued to wash their laundry, including their babies' diapers, in the bathtub. What a woman.

  8. Cute story ;-) But I would have definitely accepted the washing machine gratefully.


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