도장 Discovery

My departure is imminent and I'm goofing off. NOW I want to read other K-blogs ;)

Actually, that's not fair to me. I was looking into the process of getting a 도장, dojang, at the last minute. A dojang is the official and legally binding Korean stamp that Koreans use for official documents. Someone suggested I get one today, so I was seeing what info was out there on the net about them to see if the process of getting one is worth it for me. (Probably not, BTW.)

What I found was Surviving Korea, a blog written by a Filipina who is married to a Korean, and her post on registering a dojang at the local district office. It was great to find and, honestly, a pleasure to read because it was minus the whine-quotient you find on so many expat blogs from people from the West. Yes, I know, I've had my bitchtastic "hatin' on Korea" moments too. However, I have tried to keep that to a minimum or, at least, balance it out by blogging about the good or fun stuff that happens here too. There is some really practical survivor advice out there. One of the first friends I made in Korea was a young Filipina who'd met and married a Korean man. We've grown apart because she's still in Yeosu, which is a small city down in Jeollanamdo, and I've been gradually migrating north to Seoul as a huge number of people seem to do in South Korea.

Anyway, it occurred to me reading her blog and seeing what she's writing about is that there are at least three strains of K-bloggers out there: the Koreans, the English-speaking expats and, at least, one more, the immigrant housewives. Yes, I know there are definitely other types too, but these are the types I'm most likely to trip over.

These wives come from mostly Asian countries like the Philippines, Vietnam and China. However, of course, they have their own networks, tricks and survival tips. It was there that I got enough info on a dojang that I decided, eh, screw it. It's different when you're married to a Korean I'm sure.

I don't have the time right now, but I'm going take the time to find a few more and link to them. I'm sure they've got some interesting stories and probably very practical advice.

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Multilingual Radio Station Targeting Foreign Spouses

This is some good news.

It looks like someone has finally figured out that all of these foreign wives that Korean men are taking might need a taste of home.

Someone I met when I first arrived was a Filipina who married a Korean. I was sad to see her frequently homesick and wishing for anything from her culture. I hope this will the start helping women in her situation adapt better when they take a Korean national as a spouse and have to make a new life in a country that isn't the friendliest to foreigners.

New Multilingual Radio Targeting Expats

Korea’s first multilingual radio station aimed at foreign spouses of Koreans and other long-term residents will start services in August. The Woongjin Group’s charity foundation said Monday it will set up a multicultural radio station and start programs in Chinese, Vietnamese, Tagalog and Thai from Aug. 1.

After three months of preparation, the station will be on air 24 hours a day on audio music channel 855 of satellite television Skylife, and on digital audio channel 313 on cable television C&M.

The foundation plans to expand the service to eight languages later by adding Arabic, Japanese, Mongolian and Russian. “Although the number of expatriates living in Korea has surpassed 1 million, they are still experiencing difficulties adapting to Korean society due to the language barrier,” said Shin Hyon-ung, chief of the foundation.

“Our radio station will offer them opportunities to listen to music and literary works from their home countries, as well as running programs like Korean language education and tips on searching for jobs in Korea, and providing legal and medical information.”

Honestly, I think the English language radio programs here suck, but, at least, we have some in English.

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Jumping the Broom - Um, I'll wait, thank you...

This is an interesting article I saw on MSN Money. The title caught my eye, "Too successful for a mate?"

Let's just say that socially I was out recently and someone said something about "finding a wife." The problem is 1) I don't think I was supposed to hear it and 2) to be completely honest, this guy was as dumb as the day is long. So, in my book, he was not husband material 'cause I do want peace of mind, a happy marriage and somewhat clever children if I have any.

I thought it was funny in a way because I've seen some men with standards so low it's laughable. I've seen the same in some women, but men tend to be worse, I think. However, I'm no expert in this area, so I could be wrong.

Like other single women writing on this topic, I've found that men and some women can sometimes really get smug. I won't highlight all the experiences I've had with such smugness 'cause a lot of them involve personal situations and stories. However, I find it really funny to deal with single men here in Korea sometimes.

It's an interesting twist of the women's rights era. I honestly don't think it's a bad one. Now people in my family who are bemoaning the fact that I'm still not married probably don't agree. However, I decided awhile back I'd rather be single and happy than married and miserable. After seeing friends suffer through divorce, that hasn't changed and I don't think it will. So when I get that smugness from someone who clearly hasn't spent much time thinking about relationships and marriage, I really do want to laugh. I don't laugh because making fun of the stupid isn't nice.

Plus, there is this which I see constantly:

Experts say that highly accomplished men tend to marry women who are lower on the professional and educational food chain than they are, traditionally choosing women over whom they can exert control.

However, it's not just highly accomplished men because a lot of the men here...well, no comment.

If you listen to my Being Black in Korea podcast, you know I'm pretty picky. I honestly don't think the expat community in Korea is the best source for a mate unless you're a Korean woman looking for a green card. Without chewing into what's on the market here any further, I like some of the issues and the reasons this article gives about why very educated and successful women wait because it echoes exactly why I'll continue to wait.

For lots of these highly successful women, when given the choice between marriage and their current life, single wins, hands down.

Wendy Simmons -- a 39-year-old Brooklynite, founder and president of PR firm Vendeloo, a former club owner and a current world traveler -- loves being single. She was married for one year at age 25, but felt so trapped that she is having a hard time putting a positive spin on the idea of doing it again.

"The longer you go without marriage, the more complete you make your life, the more difficult the idea of a compromise in marriage becomes," she says. "I may be ready to try again, but every day I feel more and more like a confirmed bachelor. I see so many people struggling in relationships that it scares me."

Simmons rejects outright the notion of dumbing herself down to make herself more marketable to all those executives looking for a "wifey".

"For a lot of guys, the simple girl is easier because the man's role is clearer: They make the decisions," she says. "It's those things that I'm afraid of -- a life of compromise every single day."

I can't say I agree that I'm afraid of compromise. Marriage is compromise and I saw it with my parents who stayed married until their deaths. However, for me, it really is being quite happy here and now and knowing that the grass isn't necessarily going to be greener when and if I ever jump the broom. I hope it will and that's why I'm holding out.

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