Diva Is Code For Bitch - HuffPost Live

Indeed my SEO is strong. (Thanks to Stuart Tracte, a dear friend, for that wonderful quote which totally applies here.)

The HuffPost Live folks found an old blog post of mine from 2006 where I commented at length on the negative stereotypes that come at you when you're a black woman: "I Got a Woman" - Black Women and Negative Stereotypes.

I, along with true blue experts, discussed the implications of the current "feud" between Mariah Carey and Nicki Minjai on the HuffPost Live site today: Diva Is Code For Bitch.

My opinion?  Yes, they're fighting for real BUT the producers knew there was tension and they intentionally let it escalate.  It's not unheard of that shows do this to get press mentions and, hopefully, increase their ratings.

The deeper implications, however, is the dehumanization of black women.  As I wrote in 2006, we're always cast in this role.  That's why there have been many times I've been justifiably mad but I've held back.  Why?  Because black women get mad at every little thing, right?  We're horrible to deal with and will pop off at the slightest provocation, right?  Well, wrong, but with that being the perception it's something you keep in mind when you are upset.  I don't let it silence me to the point that I don't stand up for myself, but the blow back I get is way more intense than what women of other races get.  (Maybe one exception would be the fiery Latina stereotype and how that impacts Latinas.) 

As I brought up during the discussion, you've got tons of examples of women of all races feuding.  Shows like Mob Wives has an all white cast as do some of the Real Housewives shows.  You don't see anyone generalizing from those shows that all white women are argumentative bitches.

Anyway, you can check out the segment below or here at the link.  Enjoy and let's hope my SEO continues to be strong for years to come.

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Beyonce At The VMAs: A Class Act

I'm not going to focus on the ridiculousness of what a certain person did. I called him out for his stupidity awhile back in 2006.


Instead, I want to focus on the grace that Beyonce showed by choosing to give Taylor Swift a chance to accept the VMA she was given.

It was a class act Beyonce!

Thank you.

My write up on it for OpenFashion.com: Compassion Is Always In Fashion

Check it out.

David A. Arnold clowning Kanye - funny:



(as had been the case for the last few posts, the code is off and there is nothing after "read more"...)

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Natalie White, aka PumaShock, on Star King

I got the video link to this yesterday. Someone asked me if I knew about it. Outside of my first year in South Korea, I never got in the habit of watching Korean TV shows. Plus, when this was all getting stirred up I was getting ready to move and when she was on the show I was back in the States.

This is the background story. There is a San Francisco based singer songwriter who goes by the name of PumaShock. Her real name is Natalie White. She's also a black American. She started putting up videos of her singing some of her favorite Korean pop songs: Natalie's YouTube Channel. Koreans took notice. There was a scandal when Taeyeon from a group called Girls' Generation said something like Ms. White was pretty for a black girl. (video link) Oooops! I'm not even going to touch that because after years of living in it I will get angry if I dwell on it. Plus, it's hard to get into someone's head. Maybe it was an innocent faux pas or maybe she is a blockhead. Either way, Ms. White is the focus here.

Anyway, it worked out for Ms. White that she got on Star King and seems to be on a marvelous PR junket in Seoul. She's meeting people in entertainment and, since that's what she wants to do, I say good on her. Here are the videos of her appearance on Star King.

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Trace Magazine - Black Girls Rule

I just found out about this magazine today.

Unlike Vogue Italy, Trace Magazine has had a "black girls rule" issue once a year for the last few years now. I'm not sure of exactly how long, but once I verify how many, I'll update this post. Trace is a NYC-based magazine and it looks fierce. I'm going to have to take some time to look at some other issues.

TRACE is a TRANSCULTURAL Styles and Ideas magazine, a new expression in culture documenting the impact of the interconnected worlds of music, fashion, film, art, politics on today's multiethnic youth.

Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.

Here is the link to this year's issue in Adobe Acrobat format and the guest editor was Spike Lee. Again, niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.

And they've got a feature on Michelle Obama. Again, niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.

So, for every single person who posted a negative comment on my post about the Vogue Italy issue, put your money where your mouth is and subscribe to Trace. They've been featuring "us" for awhile now.

Also, here is Trace Magazine's MySpace page.

trace_83 - Upload a Document to Scribd

Read this document on Scribd: trace_83

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Brava!!! Italian Vogue - All Black Model Feature, July 2008

Note: I've shifted updates to the bottom.

Brava! (Okay, I know Steven Meisel is a man so it ought to be "bravo", but it's a magazine targeting women.)

Conspicuous by Their Presence

RACIAL prejudice in the fashion industry has long persisted because of tokenism and lookism. “We already have our black girl,” says a designer to a fashion-show casting agent, declining to see others. Or: “She doesn’t have the right look.” Laziness, paranoia and pedantry may also have something to do with the failure to hire black models for shows and magazine features in any meaningful number, but, hey, that’s just a guess.

A decade ago the thing to deplore was the stereotyping of black models by dressing them in African-inspired clothes (or the Asian girls in kimonos). This at least gave work to minority models, but it also encouraged a Western view of African culture of the many-bangles-many-beads variety.

O.K., so fashion ain’t deep. It looks into a mirror and sees ... itself. The irony in fashion is that it loves change but it can’t actually change anything. It can only reflect a change in the air. But what changes fashion? What would finally move American designers to include more black models on their runways? That 30 percent of the country is nonwhite? That black women spend $20 billion a year on clothes? That an African-American is the presumptive presidential nominee of the Democratic Party?

The answer is the individual eye.

In fashion, one of the most influential eyes belongs to the photographer Steven Meisel. His pictures have caught an America basking in the earnest, self-reflected glow of celebrity and money. He has taken innumerable risks, especially with “Sex,” the 1992 volume he did with Madonna, that have paid off with a career that allows him to do whatever he wants.

And he has almost lovingly photographed some of the world’s beautiful women, tapping into their psyches, connecting with them on a human level, while transforming them into fashion deities.

As the model Veronica Webb, who first worked with Mr. Meisel 20 years ago, said: “Steven knows every single tic, every talent that every girl has. He just pulls it out of them.”

For the July issue of Italian Vogue, Mr. Meisel has photographed only black models. In a reverse of the general pattern of fashion magazines, all the faces are black, and all the feature topics are related to black women in the arts and entertainment. Mr. Meisel was given roughly 100 pages for his pictures. The issue will be on European newsstands next Thursday and in the United States soon after.

Under its editor, Franca Sozzani, Italian Vogue has gained a reputation for being more about art and ideas than commerce. Ms. Sozzani also doesn’t mind controversy.

She said that, as an Italian, she has been intrigued by the American presidential race and Mr. Obama, which was one source of inspiration when she and Mr. Meisel began discussing, in February, the idea of an all-black issue. Also, she was aware of the lack of diversity on the runways in recent years and the debate it fueled last fall in New York, where Bethann Hardison, a former model who ran a successful agency, held two panel discussions on the topic.

Ms. Sozzani said the issue was not a response to criticism that she, too, has under-represented blacks or portrayed them as stereotypes.

“Mine is not a magazine that can be accused of not using black girls,” said Ms. Sozzani, noting that Naomi Campbell has had several covers, and that Liya Kebede and Alek Wek have also had covers.

Having worked at one time with nearly all the models he chose for the black issue — Iman, Ms. Campbell, Tyra Banks, Jourdan Dunn, Ms. Kebede, Ms. Wek, Pat Cleveland, Karen Alexander — Mr. Meisel had his own feelings. “I thought, it’s ridiculous, this discrimination,” said Mr. Meisel, speaking by phone from his home in Los Angeles. “It’s so crazy to live in such a narrow, narrow place. Age, weight, sexuality, race — every kind of prejudice.”

He began casting in March. “I love the history of fashion, obviously, and I love old, and I tried to get as many of the older girls as I could,” he said. Over Ms. Sozzani’s initial objections, he also hired Toccara Jones, a full-figure model, who became known from “America’s Next Top Model.” “I wanted to say something about weight, and I’m never allowed to do that,” he said. “I met Toccara and thought, she’s beautiful. What’s the deal with her? She’s great and she’s sexy.”

If these pictures have a heightened sense of glamour, it probably has something to do with the atmosphere of a Meisel shoot. According to Ms. Webb, “it’s the darkest studio, like a studio at MGM.”

There are fans and reflectors; many assistants. An area is marked “Hair” and another “Makeup.” (Pat McGrath did all the makeup for the issue, and Guido Palau did the hair.) A mirror is placed behind Mr. Meisel, so the model can see herself.

“It’s a dark world,” Ms. Webb said, “and you’re in the spotlight.”

The four pictures that Ms. Campbell was supposed to make turned into 20. She also appears on the fold-out cover, along with Ms. Kebede, Sessilee Lopez and Ms. Dunn. “Franca doesn’t realize what she’s done for people of color,” Ms. Campbell said the other day. “It reminds me of Yves using all the black models.” She was referring to Yves Saint Laurent, who, like Gianni Versace and a handful of other designers, routinely cast minorities.

Mr. Meisel has his own theories about why black models, save for the token few, have disappeared from runways. “Perhaps the designers, perhaps the magazine editors,” he said. “They are the powerful people. And the advertisers. I have asked my advertising clients so many times, ‘Can we use a black girl?’ They say no.” The concern is that consumers will resist the product, he said. “It all comes down to money.”

Ashley Brokaw, an independent casting agent in New York, believes that designers want more diversity in their casts but, she said, “what they want and what the reality is are two different things.” She thinks that agencies don’t spend enough time to groom new models for the catwalk, making it easy for designers to reject them, and then the cycle of new faces is spinning faster and faster.

But it’s also true that designers, in spite of their creative powers, yearn for the approval of insiders. “They are looking around, over their shoulders, asking, ‘Is that cool?’ ” Mr. Meisel said. He agreed that it’s a crazy kind of paranoia. Whether it’s a new model or hip style, he said with a laugh, “It can only be stated by a certain five people and then they go with it.”

What is striking about Mr. Meisel’s pictures, especially a portrait of Ms. Banks in a soft head-wrap and one of Ms. Lopez in a neat brocade turban, is how much beauty and life he was able to extract from them, so that you almost feel you are seeing these women for the first time.

Ms. Hardison hopes that the Italian Vogue issue (to which she contributed) will open people’s eyes in the industry. “They need to see what they’re missing out there,” she said. This week, in its July issue, American Vogue will have an article about the dearth of black models.

Perhaps no individual, though, will know what it means to be included more than Ms. Lopez. Last year, she barely worked. Ms. Brokaw predicts that after insiders see Mr. Meisel’s pictures, she will have a terrific season.

This kind of perplexes and delights Mr. Meisel.

“Here’s this exquisite girl,” he said, addressing no one in particular. “What don’t you get? She’s a beautiful woman. There was no trick to it.”

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Update 1: July 16, 2008 @ 8:42pm

Well, the Italian Vogue finally made it to my favorite bookstore here, Kyobo Bookstore. And, being VERY happy about this issue I bought every different cover ;) However, the cover with Naomi Campbell was MIA. I have a feeling that those got bought up or given away before they made it to the magazine rack. I'll keep searching though.


Here is a wonderful byline from the NYTimes:

Beautiful Is Beautiful (click the link for a great pictorial)

For the July issue of Italian Vogue, Steven Meisel, one of the most influential photographers in fashion, has photographed only black models.

I will be getting an over priced copy of this edition for sure (maybe two). Foreign mags are sold at bookstores in Seoul wrapped so tightly in plastic that you wonder if they ever want you to read the magazine and the foreign mags are so grossly over-priced it's shocking. However, for this edition, I'm giving up the cash. It's worth it just to show my support for Italian Vogue doing that.
_____________________________________

Update 2: August 28, 2008 @ 10:20am

For all the haters that read much more into this Italian Vogue issue than I think was necessary, I learned about a magazine called Trace Magazine that does a "Black Girls Rule" edition once a year.

So, now I want you all to click over, read the post: Trace Magazine - Black Girls Rule and then subscribe to Trace Magazine. If you don't, you're just a negative "can't see anything positive" hypocrite.

Yes, I said it. And have I contacted them to start my subscription? Yes, I have...

_____________________________________

Update 3: September 5, 2008 @ 7:12am

I have no idea but, for some reason, people are searching for information on the All Black Model Italian Vogue issue. Maybe some TV show talked about it.

Anyway, I doubled back to the Google link leading people to me and found another good blog post on it at Make Fetch Happen. So, I'm sharing the love.

Here is a great slideshow of some of the photos from the issue I saw at that blog: Vogue Italia July 2008. However, I'm really hoping that issue sold out and most who wanted to see it, bought it.

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One Heck of a Brawl Over @ Rachel's Tavern

I'm done with the term! No thanks to the fool who woke me up way too early on Sunday and completely stole a day of grading from me. With my hormones in a delicate balance my sleep patterns are easily disrupted. However, I hunkered down, spent one night in my office and managed to get grades in with 20 minutes to spare. Yeah!

What that means is I'm completely behind on other things like writing projects and reading. I got over to Rachel's Tavern today to see this post: Nice Guys, Feminism and Asian “Women”. It's about how women had better treat their men like gods or else their men would all run into the arms of very grateful Asian women who are fleeing their misogynistic Asian men. The post is critical of this variant on feminist backlash because this whole threat approach that men have is tedious at best. My reply to these sorts of guys is "go...please and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out."

However, somehow the comments turned into a brawl about black women.

I thought that was funny because I was all geared up to chime in on how I see that attitude all the time here in Korea. White men here verbalize it often because it's at least one of the things they feel they have going for them. I'm surprised how often I hear it. One time I was at dinner and the topic came up. I was telling a story about a female Korean friend of mine who had a foreign boyfriend. A white man, who is married to a Korean woman, chimed in to say that Korean women love dating white men. Now in response to a story where the foreign beau was clearly white, okay, I would have let it slide. However, what was funny was my friend's foreign boyfriend was a black man. I'd just not bothered to mention his race and I forget that a lot of people preface stories about black people with that warning that the subject of the conversation happens to be black. However, as I'm black, I don't bother doing this. This guy just assumed the man HAD to be white.

Now sure, as a white man, I'm sure that's HIS perception. Maybe it's not odd that he'd assume this. But last I checked, I was black, so is it odd to also assume I know other black people here? Somehow, in his world, white men had a monopoly on being "foreign". I'm quite adept with the English language. Had I meant "white" I would have said "white", so I thought that was interesting. As someone who grew up in a multicultural city (which, yes, breaks out in race riots from time to time), I find that I really see the world differently in some ways. I make more "white people" jokes now because it's constantly pointed out to me that I'm the other here. That doesn't happen so much when I'm home. I thought his assumption that her boyfriend had to be white and that I was telling a story about a white man was hilarious. It was indicative of the assumptions based on race that just percolate under the surface here and are rarely challenged because the ESL market is dominated by white males. Of course, I challenged it and pointed out that the man I was talking about was a black man.

Anyway, like I said, the comments had taken a turn by the time I got to the post. When I started reading the comments somehow it ended up being a brawl about black women. I honestly don't know how it got there. I think a commentor said something that wasn't well thought out because the person who posted the blog is smart. I was reading the post in a coffee house and wasn't paying close attention to all of it. However, what did catch my attention were the first two comments by Ann, who has her own blog and is a frequent commentor there.

I agree with the gist of what she's saying for sure. I don't think she's overstating the issue as much as she's stating it bluntly and forcefully. I think too often the voices of black women are shushed and silenced, so I'm going to share it here.

Anyway, I've not had time to read all of the comments after hers in detail, but Ann has thrown down in her comment about how black women are perceived and stereotyped. I'm at a point of fatigue regarding it. However, it's more than clear to me being here where there are two types of women: Korean and white. I remember being on the bus when a Korean man was talking to my white female coworker and was simply ignoring me. That was fine as he was drunk, but when he asked her if she was an "American". She said yes and pointed out that I was American too. Do you know this man had the nerve to say "no, I mean an original American." I thought that was funny because 1) the original people living on what is now American soil weren't white people and 2) when you look at the black American population, the majority of black American families have been in the US longer than most white families. There are only a select few white Americans who can claim ancestry from that first wave of British colonists. I can't remember where I read or heard it but basically to make this point a teacher in the US told everyone in her class to stand up. She told them if they had a parent who had immigrated to the US to sit down. She then asked students who had grandparents who'd immigrated to the States to sit down. She continued and the last students standing were the black students. Black Americans come from multi-generational American families, so that "original American" comment made me laugh 'cause that man was simply ignorant, but it shows how much the world at large has bought into the pop culture images that flow out of the States.

I'm a novelty at best in Korea. I've got to admit it's one big reason I don't socialize as much as I used to. With such a focus on race, it's just not plesant. Thank goodness I've found a new network of black people to socialize with here.

Here are Ann's comments (the comments to this post start here):

“It would totally suck to be a white woman or an Asian woman. They are consistently objectified. White women are often reduced to body parts and a hair color and when men of color are involved, a skin color. Asian women are reduced to being submissive “dolls” or “flowers”. Way too much pressure there.”

Wow.

I go away to get some much needed posting done on my blog, and I decide to stop over at Rachel’s and lo and behold, I see more of all the *love* that some people love to show towards black women.

White women objectified. Yes, the hells that white women have suffered at the hands of ALL MEN in America and the world.

There just ought to be a law against such cruel and hateful mistreatment that white women suffer in comparison to what black women experience in this country.

Black women have been objectified to being body parts:

Having men of all races look at you as if you are a walking life support system for a vagina, buttocks, legs. Having your beautiful gravity-defying hair degraded. Having your beautiful skin color denigrated as less than because it is not a pale, ghastly white.

Which is why so many Asian, Native American, Latino, white and black men run to the defense, protection, and adoration of white women, while they are stomping, stampeding and grinding black women into the ground to get to those white women. Running past, knocking out of the way black women they know nothing about because those same men have not the guts to get to know the black women.

Black women have MORE pressure on them because they are NOT considered women.

Always considered *masculine.
Always considered not *feminine*.
Never considered desirable, sought after——every man’s prize.

Never.

White women in no way suffer form the hateful vicious *objectification* that black women suffer through.

And white women know that black women suffer worse hells than all the white women in America.

White women know that THEIR objectification pales in comparison to what black women still face in this country.

Yes.

White women have been objectified the hell out of, let me count the ways:

-Constantly called “bitch” by every race of men in America;
-Constantly called “whore” by every race of men in America;
-Considered as “unrapeable” by ALL MEN in America (remember, it was never against a black woman’s will when a white man raped us during slavery, Reconstruction and segregation);
-If a white woman is raped, her rapist gets a minimum of 10 years for the assault; A black woman’s rapists gets a *minimum* of 2 years;
-Due to white men creating lies that white women are virgins/pure/chaste (all the time, 24/7), after white men raped every black woman and GIRL in a one mile radius, black women are the most devalued women in this society because of the depraved filth done to them by white men, the perverted filth agreed to them by white women for 400 years (depravities that the poor put-upon *objectified* white woman was spared because her gentle, loving white man brutally and viciously forced his diseased-ridden penis into defenseless black women and girls throughout this country’s sick history.)

Objectified.

If any race of women have been OBJECTIFIED THE HELL OUT OF, it is black women living in America.

Have white women lived the lives of black woman? Do white women even into present day America live the lives of black women? Have white women been called every sick slur that a woman can be called by EVERY RACE OF MEN IN AMERICA? (And I say the word *men* with extreme reservation; only a man who has no balls would degrade a race of women because white Massa said do it.)

How many white women can truly say that they have ever been called bitch, ho, punta, tutsun, melanzana, majate?

How many white women can truly say they been looked at, looked past, looked upon with the worst kind of contempt and derision that any race of women can have done to them? Believe me, it is not a *blessing* in disguise where you are not even considered as being looked at because so many so-called men have bought into the lie of practicing sexualized gendered racist hatred against you just because you are a black woman. Where you are written off before you even open your mouth; where you are looked through like a sheet of glass—invisible—worthless—not worthy of even a nod, a smile, a greeting, a damn fucking GLANCE—because so many so-called men’s minds have been poisoned against you just because you are a black woman.

How many white women can truly say that they come from a race of women whose bloodline is polluted with the filthy, shitty blood of RAPISTS?

How many white women can truly say that they come from a race of women who were considered born sluts because white men decreed it so?

When was the last time white women of all women, were treated like shit on a daily basis?

Devalued.
Degraded.
Discounted.
Written off.

Looked at if they have no right to live, no right to be in this world?

What the hell do white women know about objectification of the most base, the most brutal, the most degrading kind?

“Rachel,
I feel that white women and Asian women get it from EVERYONE. Black women get it from black men but, I’ve never really seen other races of men overly objectifying black women. They usually look right past us.”

Damn.

Of course they look right past us.

They give not a damn about us, so why should they even look at us?

Black women DO get it from EVERY race of men.

They get disrespect.

Dismissed.

Looked upon as not women, not humans, because black women are NOT protected in this white-woman-worshipping society.

Case in point.

Two women, a white and a black can both walk into a room at the same time. Both can be beautiful, intelligent, and have the same moral values.

Guess who will be looked upon as the born whore/slut/Jezebel?

The white woman?

Hmm?

Hmm?

Or will it be the black woman?

Which one will be looked upon as the virginal, beautiful, chaste woman?

The White woman? The Black woman?

Unless you have not lived in the United States, dollars to donuts the white woman will be looked upon as a woman, and the black woman will be looked upon as not only NOT a woman, but not human. An animal. Hyper-sexual, slutty animal.

Never mind that the white woman who walked in could have just fellatiated every man in the neighborhood. Never mind that the black woman can be a virgin or celibate.

No.

Because the black woman has never been protected, praised, loved and treated with respect in this country, the lowest-behaving white woman is still considered as having the right to be accorded humanity by EVERY whiteness-worshipping-brain-dead-black-women-hating race of men in America when that same white woman is seen standing next to a black woman.

And that includes:

White men
Black men
Asian men
Native American men
Latino men
Arab men

ALL MEN have been taught to hate black women, no matter who the black woman is they see in their daily lives, and ALL MEN have been taught to bow down to, worship and shore up the worship and maintenance of white woman lies that white men have been vomitting forth for over 400 years.

ALL men treat women as less than human.

But, black women get it (hateful mistreatment, degrading comments, filthy remarks, shitty looks, literally being knocked down entering through a door, looked at as if you are a piece of feces on the heel of a shoe) from ALL so-called men.

Black women get it from everyone.

The face shown to white women by men of all races is nothing like the face that is shown to black women.

Black women stand naked in the eyes of ALL MEN in America, because America, white men, black men (those self-hating-black-race-hating-black-women-hating black men), men of other races give not a damn about the welfare and peace of mind of black women.

ALL men have bought into the lie that black women are NEVER to be loved and adored no matter how beautiful and accomplished they are.

Black women are treated as less than human by ALL MEN.

America hates black women for all that we have survived.

White men hate and fear BLACK WOMEN MORE THAN they hate and fear black men.

Any man who buys into and practices the worship of the lie that white women are better than all the other women in the world (especially the lie that they are better than black women),is not a man at all. He is a weak, spineless, ball-less, gutless wonder.

ALL the women are NOT white.

ALL the blacks are NOT men.

But, damn it…MANY of us are still BRAVE.

(And yes, I am aware how Asian men are *de-masculinized* in this society. I have addressed this subject over at my blog, but they too right along with men of all races treat black women as less than human as well.)

(I guess this comment will go through.)

And lest anyone get the wrong idea, my chastising is not meant for any race of women.

It is the group known as *men* who decide which group of women will be treated as women and as human beings, and which group of women will not be acorded the simplest of respect and humanity, that causes so much hell and pain for all women.

I lay that blame at the feet of men.

But, on the other hand, I do not see MANY white and Asian women being in a mad rush to dismantle the acknowledgement they at least are considered as women.

Many black women cannot say the same.

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Professor Kim's News Notes: Should racially-motivated violent rapes be national news?

Professor Kim's News Notes: Should racially-motivated violent rapes be national news?

This is a troubling blog entry that I just found out about today. It was posted on the news forum at Nappturality.com. Basically, two men brutally stabbed, raped and thought they'd murdered a 15 year old black girl. She laid still; they thought she was dead, so they went to get something to dispose of her body. That is when she was able to run to a house next door and someone there called the authorities.

I truly don't understand minds that work like this. What's worse is I don't understand a media which doesn't aggressively cover this sort of story and runs the same stories over and over all day long.

It's something that I think needs to get more attention. That's the main reason I'm posting it here on my blog, and that's why I put it up on Digg.com.

Being sad or upset is fine, but we have to do more than feel emotions. We need to mobilize to make sure people hear about the story. Head over to Digg.com via the link below and "digg" the story so more folks will read about it.

read more digg story

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"I Got a Woman" - Black Women and Negative Stereotypes

Now I have a question that has been bothering me lately. I’ve lived abroad for almost six years. During that time I’ve seen a lot, and I’ve definitely learned a lot. I’ve also had my beliefs challenged and my view of the world has just opened up tremendously. I’ve always been a smart one, but as I get older I’m more impatient with people though. I tend to think ahead, strategize and plan for contingencies. I also realize that stereotypes can be good general guides, but you really fall into an unproductive trap when you stop using them as guides and instead view people strictly through the lens of stereotypes.

Now being an African-American female, I get a litany of stereotypes thrown at me on a daily basis. Being an African-American of the fairer sex in Asia is hilarious because some of the stuff that’s been said to me is crazy. I’ll save the funny stories for later, but trust me, most of it makes me laugh it’s so silly. I’m pretty much used to it, but over the last year some interesting things have happened. I’ve found myself being stereotyped as the defensive or angry black woman, which (most of the time) I’m not. This wasn’t the first time, but it was the first time it came at me from someone close to me. It really bothered me, and still does when I think about it hence why I’m blogging about it.

This is the thing. I was listening to the John Mayer Trio's* version of Ray Charles’ I Got a Woman. The pertinent lyrics are as follows:

I got a woman way over town that's good to me oh yeah
Say I got a woman way over town good to me oh yeah
She give me money when I'm in need
Yeah she's a kind of friend indeed
I got a woman way over town that's good to me oh yeah

She saves her lovin’ early in the morning just for me oh yeah
She saves her lovin’ early in the morning just for me oh yeah
She saves her lovin’ just for me oh she love me so tenderly
I got a woman way over town that's good to me oh yeah
…

She's there to love me both day and night
Never grumbles or fusses always treats me right
Never runnin’ in the streets and leavin’ me alone
She knows a woman’s place is right there now in her home
…

That’s the thing. That song isn't about white girl Becky or Lucy Liu (who I just love, btw). Now I'm not saying that it can't describe other women of races, but I think I'm safe in betting that if the song was inspired by a woman, it was most likely a black woman. I really do see myself as a giving, nurturing, positive person. I’m seen as that by friends back home. In fact, I had one friend tell me point blank that he knows that I’m tough and can take care of myself, but he also sees a nice person who sometimes needs help. I’ve also had men who have been attracted to me for my nurturing qualities as well as my independent ones.

Yet, here in Korea I see myself fighting the expectation that I’m aggressive, to be feared, divisive and negative. I think one reason is I’m dealing with people who, for the most part, haven’t really ever dealt with a diverse range of people before, so they do view people in stereotypes. I can accept that, but it hurt to have it come from someone I considered closer than close. I honestly don’t think being assertive is negative in most situations. It can be as I’ve seen some over the top behavior. I just tend to say what I think, and, as I’m able to explain what I think fairly clearly and defend my arguments or reasoning, I’m seen as hyper-aggressive. That’s weird to me because a man with the same disposition is seen as, well, just articulate and well-spoken.

Listening to this song and mouthing the lyrics reminded me that, in spite of the stereotype of the African-American woman as this aggressive, hyper-sexualized, and not so bright thing that there are songs and stories about us being sweet, loving, nurturing and there for our men just as women of other races are. I also have black women in my life who are sweet, loving, nurturing and definitely there for their men. They're very much my role models, so when I get hit with this negative image I question where it's coming from.

Recently, I was having a conversation with a classmate who, I believe, is of southeast Asian descent who said to me quite smugly that she was Asian, and Asian women are taught to please their men. Well, okay, but so are French women and so are other women. I think that, depending on your culture, we do this in different ways, but I find living in Korea that I am fighting this negative stereotype. In general, the Korean woman is seen as a woman who will go much further to please a man than a Western woman would. I would say in many ways that’s true. But what this belief or expectation fails to recognize is that Western women, at least some, do put a priority on the men in their lives being pleased and satisfied. Now I’m not ignoring modern history. Of course, feminism has influenced the modern Western woman. Yes, we are more independent and have more choices, but I grew up in an Ozzie and Harriet existence. My mom was a full-time homemaker who chose to stay at home to raise me and make our home pleasing. She did a great job and I would be honored to follow in her footsteps. Yes, that means I have no problem whatsoever with possibly being a homemaker. Now, what feminism and the civil rights movement has done for me is give me more choices. I can choose to be a homemaker, but I can also choose to have a career or choose a combination of both.

My thing is my mother was a “pleaser” in the sense that my classmate above used it and she did pass that on to me in some ways. She’d cook huge meals and invite everyone in my family over. She’d go shopping and buy me cute little outfits and put matching satin ribbons in my hair. She’d hug me and my dad and was just overall keen on keeping harmony her home. She was no one’s doormat however and God help the person who’d piss her off. Like her, I’m nobody’s doormat, but when I’m in a relationship I known to do things very similar to my mother like cook meals, straighten up (and all my friends know I keep a messy home) and, in general, assume a very stereotypically female role. This works for me, and I like it. But it's amazing to have people be completely shocked that I'd view homemaking as an acceptable career. That angers me because it is definitely something an educated woman can choose to do without shame.

I’m a Libra, so I like balance. I’m together, I have my life in order, I tend to plan and it’s rare that I’m surprised. I have people here assume that I don’t need help because I have my life in fairly good order. In contrast, I find that here women who play up the helpless female get help even when they don’t need it. Back home, women like that get dumped and women like me tend to be in demand. I find the reverse is true here (and, no, I'm not looking for a man, but it's not difficult to notice). I find that as an African-American female people assume I’m simply not capable of a stereotypical female role.

Listening to I Got a Woman made me wonder when did that expectation for black women change?

Ray Charles sung about a woman who pleased him and who made that her priority.

• So why is it that black female characters in books, movies, songs, etc. so over the top now?
• Why is it that when I go through my day, if I disagree or voice the slightest objection people classify me as aggressive?
• Why is it that people assume that I don’t need help simply because I tend to have it together?
  

One example of this was when I worked at an English camp teaching a class of pre-teens. I’m pretty strict with discipline, but I’m a fun teacher. I just lay down the law at first so that the kids know who is in charge. I find that classes go much easier if you establish who is in charge initially. Anyway, at the end of the camp one of my kids gave a speech. He talked about the various teachers, including me. In general, he was very complimentary towards me, but I was annoyed when he said “she’s scary when she’s mad”. Why is it that I’m scary here when I’m angered but other women of other races are seen as harmless or even cute? I had an ex who pretty much thought it was the cutest thing when I was upset. In Korea when I'm upset I have people diving for cover.

I’m not trying to create a race issue where there isn’t one as I’m the last person to play the race card. But this is something that hit me hard when someone close to me came at me with every negative stereotype in the book. I was seen as catty or mean where, in contrast, a Korean woman who was incredibly rude and mean to me was just “culturally ignorant”. I didn’t need help when I was having problems wrapping my head around some course material because I'm smart and already have a professional degree, but another Korean woman who had a presentation due needed the help of a professor to prepare for it. Worst of all, knowing that I was being hit with all of these negative expectations, when I asked an indirect question with the aim of trying to not be confrontational it was misinterpreted as a veiled threat (I won’t go into the whole story as the accusation is still so hurtful it makes me cry to think about it). Basically, it was assumed that I was going to go out and track some Korean girl down to hurt her. I was shocked and saddened because as someone who has suffered much loss in my life, I'd never harm someone. In all of those situations, I was seen as mean, unassailable, menacing and straight up violent. Whereas, in contrast, in situations where it was pretty clear that the Asian women were purposefully and intentionally stirring shit up they were presumed to be harmless, merely culturally inept or in need of help or protection.

I was really surprised by all of this. I had to figure out where that was coming from. I’d known him for four or five years, but suddenly all of this stuff was coming my way. Now, he wasn’t the only one. It was just having it come from someone so close to me, I became sensitive to it and started watching people. The same thing has happened at school where I do tend to be someone who will speak up if the students have issues, so now I’m seen as the person to call whenever someone needs a mediator or needs someone to be tough. Now that’s fine, but my thing is why is it that people tend to view me as, firstly, one dimensional? I mean yes, I won’t take anyone’s shit, but I’m not running around on the defensive all the time. Second, why is it that even though I’m not manifesting a hyper-aggressive and violent personality that I’m being seen as that?

My theory is that one big thing going on here is that in modern pop culture black women aren’t being sung about in the way Ray sung about us anymore. Unfortunately, it's the rare hit song that casts us as nuturers. There are songs like that, but most are showing us as materialistic, booty shakers with not much on our minds. Therefore, the world sees us as caricatures that we really aren't, and black women end up having to fight much harder to be seen as normal people with the same emotions, needs and desires.

Yes, it has more layers and complexities (but, come on, I think it's time to wrap this post up). We’re stereotyped as hyper-sexualized, hyper-aggressive, superwomen who don’t marry, aren’t educated, aren't nurturing and raise our children alone. Unfortunately, it seems that a lot of black women instead of being critical of that stereotype buy into it also (which is a post for another time).

This is all very rough as this occurred to me just today while listening to a song on the bus and watching the rain come down. But it is something I’ve been thinking about…

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More on the Sapphire stereotype and others at Arte Sana:

...Sapphire, the wise-cracking, balls-crushing, emasculating woman, is usually shown with her hands on her hips and her head thrown back as she lets everyone know she is in charge.

...

Finally, in the stereotype of Sapphire, African American women are portrayed as evil, bitchy, stubborn and hateful. In other words, Sapphire is everything that Mammy is not. "The Sapphire image has no specific physical features other than the fact that her complexion is usually brown or dark brown." Unlike other images that symbolize African American women, Sapphire necessitates the presence of an African American male. The African American male and female are engaged in an ongoing verbal duel. Sapphire was created to battle the corrupt African American male whose "lack of integrity, and use of cunning and trickery provides her with an opportunity to emasculate him through her use of verbal put-downs."

Ernestine Ward popularized the Sapphire image in the Amos and Andy television series. Ward played a character known as Sapphire, and her husband, Kingfish, was played by Tim Moore. Sapphire's spiteful personality was primarily used to create sympathy in viewers for Kingfish specifically and African American males in general. As a result, many African American women suppress these feelings of bitterness and rage for fear of being regarded as a Sapphire.

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Essence Magazine's Take Back the Music Campaign

We at ESSENCE have become increasingly concerned about the degrading ways in which Black women are portrayed and spoken about in popular media, particularly in popular urban music and music videos.

NYTimes: An Image Popular in Films Raises Some Eyebrows in Ads
Sista in Tokyo: Update: Earthquake Preparedness Images Re-Drawn!

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More on Ray Charles:

The Literary Thug's Why Ray Charles matters
Stephen W. Terrell's Weblog's TERRELL'S TUNE-UP: THE ROADS LEAD BACK TO RAY

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More on John Mayer:

*John Mayer is an absolutely brilliant musician, and I love how he's bringing the blues back to the mainstream and to people who might otherwise not listen to the genre. BTW, he has a new blog on his website. I'll put the link up on the left, so you can get it when this post rolls off the main page. (See? Ain't I sweet?)

I recommend the John Mayer Trio Try CD. I wasn’t all that into his initial stuff. It was good, but smacked too much of groupie bait for my tastes. However, he’s upped his game a level and has shown he can throwdown with the best of them.

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