Sunday, June 17, 2007

Dear Dad - Happy Father's Day

My dad, a long time ago ;)

Like Mother's Day, Father's Day is always bittersweet for me.

As I've been spending almost all of my time putting in work to finish up this master's, I think of them both a lot because they always pushed me to pursue my education.

Although, I know they would be pleased that I'm still challenging myself. I think by now they would be saying "okay, enough school already...get married and have some kids!" Actually, my mom would be saying that. My would probably be outside mowing the lawn.

I realized pretty early on that I was a really lucky kid. My dad was around. I saw him everyday. He worked. There were rarely fights between my parents and, when there were, he didn't start them. The stories my friends had were much different, so I'd hit the parent jackpot.

He was just a really nice, gentle and hard-working man. He loved me oodles and was always there when I needed him.

Isn't that funny that contradicts all the stereotypes of black men and particularly about black fathers? However, it's not just black men.

In general, men get harsh evaluations:
Given the right combination of chemistry and culture, good fathering is a varied and highly sustainable resource--one that's just waiting to be tapped.
However, I think that might be one big reason I've not rushed into relationships. It's hard finding one like my dad.

I'm lucky. I know that.

RIP, dad. I love you and I miss you.

From your very lucky daughter.

Quote from The Psychology of Fatherhood at

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  1. Awww........
    he looks nice.
    He and your Mom did a GREAT job raising you.

  2. Yeah, he was attractive and it was so cute that my mom would point out how much she liked the way he looked. Of course, it’s a good thing to think your spouse is a hotty. She’d go on about how sweet he was, how gentle he was…blah blah blah. It was so cute to see my mom go there ;)

    In raising me they weren't bad at all. In fact, like I wrote, I know I hit the jackpot when it comes to parents. However, I'm both horrible with money and am a horrible housekeeper, so they didn't touch all the lessons. In fact, my mom ran interference between me doing housework. I think because I’d make more of a mess while I was at it but still…wahhhhhhhhhhhh.

    I've had to figure some lessons out on my own and I still haven't quite mastered housekeeping, but I will. I will!

  3. Jane, goodness me! That's another thing we have in common then. We've both lost our fathers, in addition to our mothers.

    It's great that you remember them, live joyfully and do such a great job raising yourself on the other side of the world with their guidance. I think you have his smile. :)

  4. Yeah, my dad was the coolest dad evah!

    If you disagree I'll have to kick yer ass. Okay, actually, they discouraged me from resolving conflict through violence, so we'd just have to discuss it (that means I nag your or whowever into submission.)

    I've had my moments of deep, deep despair and anger. I think I've finally gotten to this point of realizing that's the LAST thing they'd want me to be doing. I've changed the game plan.

    Thanks for your comment. Sorry to hear we're similar in that way. I'd never wish being an orphan on anyone.


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